Monday 30 November 2009

Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling


The Magic Of Making Up

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true. But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true. Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

Thursday 26 November 2009

Don’t Wait How To Get Over Someone Fast

When a relationship ends, especially if you're not the one who ended it, how to get over someone becomes very important. It’s not always easy to get over a person you’ve been with, though. If you’ve been with that person for a very long time it’s even harder. It might be pretty easy to get over a relationship that’s lasted 3 months. But if you've been with someone for 3 years, it's hard to get over that person at all, let alone get over them quickly. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to speed up the process.

When you're wondering how to get over someone, sit in a chair in your living room or bedroom, wherever there’s a very strong sense of the other person. Remove anything that reminds you of that person a great deal. This isn't always easy to do, but every little bit helps. If you've bought a dog together, for instance, of course you won’t want to get rid of the dog. But anything your ex bought for you that’s on display like a knick-knack or something hanging on the wall would be a good thing to remove for a while.

If you have lots of things that will remind you of your ex, you're probably wondering how to get over someone without making your rooms completely bare. But even if you picked out practically everything together, you don’t have to remove everything to make this work. Just choose items that have particularly strong memories.

Maybe you picked out the couch together, but it's one of the throw pillows that you bought or the figurine on the end table he or she gave you as a gift that seems to make you feel sad when you look at it. Remove those items and store them for a while, just to make things easier on you.

If you’re having a really hard time and feel that you can handle it, you can think of all your ex’s bad qualities. Of all the methods of how to get over someone, this is the one where you actually think of your ex the most, so if just the very thought of them brings you to tears you might not be ready for this step. Think of the things you disliked the most about them. If you can’t thing of anything, just move on. But most of us can come up with a long list of things we dislike about someone, especially if they were the ones to end the relationship.

A popular method of how to get over someone is to simply start dating again. Many people balk at this idea—they think they still love the ex and aren’t ready. You can do this even if you’re still in love with your ex. No one says you have to fall in love anytime soon. But dating or even going out with friends isn’t just how to get over someone, it’s how to keep from feeling sorry for yourself while you try.

Wednesday 25 November 2009

Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

Follow this 4 easy step you sure will be on the right path to get your ex back.

Tuesday 24 November 2009

Get Guy Back After a Breakup

It can be a difficult time after a man breaks up with you. You probably don't feel or even act like yourself at this point. Life almost seems like it has lost its meaning with him in it. Maybe you want to get guy back.

Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out. They just wanted it to end. It's usually easier to work out a relationship while you're still in it; as opposed to when it has ended.

With that being said, you can get guy back if he broke up with you. The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want. Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones. Don't want him back just to have him back. Make sure that there are very good reasons why you want him back.

The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Some people can make up and move on. Others, they just can't recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared. Even if you don't succeed you will know you did your best to get guy back.

If you want to get guy back, you must, and there is no room for negotiation on this, get your emotions in check. Guys do not want to be with women who can't keep their emotions under control. If you attempt to contact him while you don't have control of your emotions you may do even more damage. For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you're an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.

The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he's doing, or feel sad that you don't have him, is to start living your own life. You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup. Keep up with your daily routines. Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Hang out with your friends.

If you're staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back. If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you'll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.

When he does, just keep it brief. Tell him how busy you've been. Don't get mushy or gush out feelings for him. Act indifferent and aloof. This will confuse him. If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best. Don't let him touch you or kiss you. Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that's it. This will drive him crazy. From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily. Just take it slow.

As you can see, you can get guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control. Life your life to the fullest. Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best. Back off, give him space. He'll most likely contact you and want to see you again. When he does, be a little bit of a tease. Make him work for your affections again

Fear No Evil! Conquer Your Demons!

Fear No Evil! Conquer Your Demons!

Monday 23 November 2009

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place. It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Genuine Legitimate Income with Your Website: Tips To Improve Your Blog - 35. Use Threaded Comments On Your Blog

Genuine Legitimate Income with Your Website: Tips To Improve Your Blog - 35. Use Threaded Comments On Your Blog

Saturday 21 November 2009

Genuine Legitimate Income with Your Website: Tips To Improve Your Blog - 37. Welcome Readers With Warm Messages.

Genuine Legitimate Income with Your Website: Tips To Improve Your Blog - 37. Welcome Readers With Warm Messages.

Genuine Legitimate Income with Your Website: Drop Your Links Here If You Want To Increase Your Page Rank.

Genuine Legitimate Income with Your Website: Drop Your Links Here If You Want To Increase Your Page Rank.

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship? Here are some clues:

• Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
• While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
• Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
• Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
• You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

Friday 20 November 2009

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Thursday 19 November 2009



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Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in taking action doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

Wednesday 18 November 2009

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Saturday 14 November 2009

How to deal with conflict in your relationship

My partner and I meet and married in my country. It was in our firth year of marriage when our arguments got out of hand. It did not matter who started the argument and what is was about. I tell you we used to ague until there was nothing to say but call each other names.

The only difference was, it was my first marriage while I was his third wife. During this augments we did not care whether the children were there or no, we will just carry on and on. We will even bring stuff from the past.

Some of the things said were, who do you think you are? You are not wealth it... you are nobody!

I put the blame in both of us; we did not know how to deal with our problems without hurting each other or even our children for that matter.

For a relationship to start between two people there should be something to make them attracted to one another. And it is that one thing and the more it develops that makes the relationship good and enjoyable.

Ask yourself what made your partner appear attractive to you... was it the way they looked? What inside, the kind of person they are? What they know and what they don’t know... In other words are you in the same level of education or do you find them ignorant or too educated for you?

That and the rest of other small things will add up to make the ingredients of qualities and characteristics of the other individual you fell for.

There comes a time in relationships when arguments will happen and this goes for a close relationship as well. It is not easy to stop conflict in a relationship it is how you deal with them!

The important thing is; How do you deal with conflict in your relationship?

From my experience most of the painful things said in an argument can be avoided as they will only bring nothing but distraction in marriage. I wish I knew then what I have learned and know now.


Tuesday 10 November 2009

An interesting article by Dr. Stanley Ducharme - Managing Conflict in Your Relationship

 
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